When I eventually blow my own brains out, unable to take the ridiculousness that is Portland's public safety management any more, one of the things I will sincerely miss in heaven is the evident sense of humor of central precinct commander Mike Reese. This morning, for example, he told the public safety action committee that crime is down 9% downtown, year on year. Apart from shoplifting, which is up, by an unspecified amount.

"But that's actually a good thing," he said. "Because most of it has been happening from our brand new Macy's store."

For the sheer "is he kidding, or is he serious?" factor, combined with a sprinkling of "whatever...it doesn't fucking matter either way," I think it's the funniest comment made at City Hall all year.