Coming in to last night's game, the Timbers had managed to screw their chances at the playoffs. The Timbers held their fate in their own hands 4 games ago, needing 10 points from five games. Then they completely shit the bed, losing to Montreal and Rochester after the stunning 4-0 defeat of Miami FC. Still, it was the last home game of the season, and we have good luck in final games. I was hoping that we could sweep the table and one of our challengers for the last playoff spot would fall hard. There was hope before the game.
We even had a chance to win this one, after Higgins slotted home a goal in the 11th minute. The Timbers pushed and pushed and pushed forward with relentless pressure for a while, but shots were going wide, high or bouncing off defenders.
Unfortunately, an errant elbow (or more likely, an errant and drunk referee, who repeatedly failed to punish the Charleston player who was using the cast on his forearm as a weapon) got Cameron Dunn sent off in the 39th minute. The Timbers still fought, still pushed, and held control of the run of play for most of the second half, but as is the flavor of this season, two goals came for Charleston in the second half, and just like that, our season was over.
We are still mathematically in the hunt, but not really. There is one last game, next Friday in Cary, North Carolina, but neither team has anything to play for. I'm likely not going to be blogging in the off-season unless something really important comes up, so let me hit the bullet points for the season:
Lowlight:
- Straight red cards. If there was a theme to this year, it would be these (which means an immediate ejection and your team plays a man down for the rest of the game, for the soccer noobs). There was a period when we went seven or so home games with more red cards than goals. Part of it is officiating. Part of it is Timbers players being stupid.
Highlight:
- Scot Thompson. He had some good games, he had some bad games, and he never wore the Captain's armband, but when this guy is yelling at you, hyping the crowd, you get riled the fuck up.
Lowlight:
- Gavin Wilkinson. Sorry Gav, but you have to take a lot of the blame for this season, as you are both the Coach and the GM. As Boaz the Destroyer quotes you, you also decided to throw some players under the bus after the game last night. I could list off all the coaching missteps over the season, but I'm already riled up, and I haven't had my coffee this morning.
Highlight:
- Timber Joey. This guy is our new fucking hero. He's filled the boots of The Legend, and he has added his own flavor, be it his shiny new axe, or my favorite, threatening the opposing goalkeeper with a giant chainsaw during corner kicks. Love it.
Lowlight:
- Loaned players. We started the season with Ray Burse as our GK. Thirteen games later, he was gone, back to FC Dallas. Then we had Brad Knighton in the net, on loan from New England. He wasn't around long either (eight games). After it became clear that Takayuki Suzuki wasn't going to score again (his goal against Seattle was all we got) and our Island Assassin Benjamin Totori injured his knee and went back to the Solomon Islands, we went and begged for Bryan Jordan back. We got him on loan, but he was back and forth and back and forth again and again, and we never knew if he'd be in Green on any given game day.
Highlight:
- Traded Players. Chase Harrison came to us when we dumped Andrew Fuckin' Gregor on Rochester, and when we needed solid play in the net, he stepped up. I think he was a free signing (not a trade) but Cameron Dunn was a stud for his few games late in the season. I hope to see him next season.
Lowlight:
- Tourists. I'm not a hater. It's OK that you have one soccer jersey you bought on your high school class trip to one of those super exotic major cities in western Europe and you wear it to a Timbers game because it's the correct sport. That's fine. Plenty of people I respect can be seen at games in various non-timbers shirts every once and a while. But here's a bit of free advice: you know that moment in PCU when Jeremy Piven tells the stoner kid not to be that guy who wears the shirt of the band to that band's show? The reverse is true for the sports. I humbly suggest that if the team is not playing, don't wear the shirt. 
Highlight:
- Tourists. There were 13,050 people at the final home game of the season, and they weren't all standing in the North End. Attendance for the whole season is well above last year, and we were actually good last year. I can't tell you how many new faces showed up in the North End for the cheap beer and a good time ("Just this once" they'd say) and kept coming back. Every season there are new people, more passion, more support, and more love for the Timbers.
Lowlight:
- Nike. I don't think a single game went by this season without one of our players having a torn jersey. These things were absolute shit. Makes me hope for the MLS in the future (beyond the obvious reasons); Adidas has a league-wide sponsorship deal.
Highlight:
- Merritt Paluson. He was up in front of the Army after the game, taking a bow and thanking the crazies. There's not a team owner in any sport any where at any level with the cojones to do that. Props. That said, would it kill you to wear green on game day? The young Republican khakis/blue oxford/loafers/blackberry holster look is getting tired.
Lowlight:
- Takayuki Suzuki. As I mentioned earlier, our superstar international signing didn't work out. He looked tired, out of shape, and not too happy to be here. He also dove, a lot. Good luck in the future, but I imagine he has seen his last match as a Timber.
Ultimate Highlight:
- The City of Portland. I don't know if I've told you recently, baby, but you're the best. Timbers games are awesome because you are home to some of the best people on the planet. There is nowhere else in America where 13,000 people will show up to support a minor league team (of any sport) having a shitty season. 
Take my hand, take my whole heart too, but I can't help falling in love with you.
See you all next season.
Game Photo Credits: Allison Andrews/Soccer City USA
others on the match:
Don Roberto, Timbers Offside
Queen Allie, soccercityusa match report
Boaz the Destroyer, Oregonian
The Official Story, Portland Timbers Website
