As the election looms, I have been hearing from more people who claim that if McCain wins they are moving to Canada. For serious this time. No, really... They're not going to puss out like four years ago. They will really, definitely leave. Really.

Okay, I believe these people are going to follow through with their post McCain contingency plan about as much as I believe Sarah Palin is experienced enough to run a fucking voting booth. Still, I like the hypotheticals. So here's my big What If for the day:

What If Portland experienced a great Canadian migration after a McCain win? Imagine all of the disaffected individuals with bruised egos and shattered pride, hopping aboard their Volvos and recumbent bicycles, making for Vancouver like Tommy Chong with a brownie jones...

Is it possible enough people might leave the city that the craft industry would collapse? What about the dive bars and playground sports leagues? What about the record shops and independent theaters? Would it mean the collapse of Portland's green economy? Shouldn't we have some kind of contingency plan for this?

Because, I swear, if McCain gets elected and Portland is ruined because of a mass migration to Canada, I'm totally moving to Mexico. I mean it. For serious. Really.