I demand to watch the direct-to-DVD Anaconda 3: Offspring immediately, not only because I've already wasted four hours of my life by watching both Anaconda and Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, but because it stars motherfucking David Hasselhoff, who is a really good actor.
See how good he is at pretending to dial a phone number? Really good.
Anyway, today is "deadline day" or whatever at the paper, but fuck that. Videorama opens at noon and I am going there then and I am renting Anaconda 3: Offspring and then I am going to go home and have a beer or four and watch it. Probably twice. Coworkers, good luck putting out this paper without me. Or whatever, actually; I don't even give a shit. I am spending the afternoon with a bunch of baby snakes and David Hasselhoff, and that is all I can think about at the moment.