CITIBANK GETS BAILOUT!!! Now commentators wonder whether $27bn is really enough to turn the $3 trillion institution around.

MARKETS RALLY!!! The Dow is back up to 8400 this morning. But give it a's at 2000, whoo, it's at 12,000, whoa there, it's...okay, so I's steady at 8,400. But for how long?

HELL'S KITCHEN!!! Gordon Ramsay and his wife shrug off affair claims. Unfortunately the News of the World has pretty compelling photo evidence that suggests the claims might be true:


RUSSIA DENIES SHOOTING AT GEORGIAN AND POLISH PRESIDENTS!!! And when a Russian denies involvement in a plot to assassinate somebody anti-Russian, you should trust him 100%...

THE YOGA FATWA!!! An Islamic council in Malaysia has issued a fatwa against Yoga, according to Reuters. Why yoga? According to the news service, it "uses Hindu prayers and encourages a union with God that is blasphemous."

OBAMA SKIPS CHURCH, HEADS TO GYM!!! Although the gym faces Mecca. And there wasn't any yoga going on, if you get where I'm going with this...

SCIENTOLOGY!!! Guard fatally shoots man armed with swords at one of the religion's nerve centers.

Good day.