Youtube user blinktwice4y crafted the above acoustic ballad detailing the gameplay in Mario Kart as, I must assume, a clever protest against all the albums Conor Oberst has released that had absolutely nothing to do with throwing red turtle shells at the girl who broke your heart in middle school.
Normally this sort of music makes me want to not slit my wrists just to spite the emotionally manipulative artists who perpetuate this kind of thing, but this tune makes me want to toss out all my razors for a completely different reason: It's shockingly good.
I'm not going to phone Nintendo and request they add this track to their next Mario Kart release, but if I ever have a son who starts stealing
my his mother's black eyeliner I swear I'll replace every Dashboard Confessional .mp3 on his iPod with this song and assorted Kylie Minogue tracks.
Sure, she's the epitome of disposable pop, but damn if she isn't the sexiest
British Australian export since the Queen Mum Paul Hogan mooned Roosevelt back in aught six taught us all the true meaning of the word "knife."