Because the news reports are far more entertaining than the white stuff falling from the sky...

KGW is running with a graphic screaming "ARCTIC BLAST," as anchor Brenda Braxton talks about being a "city girl" who needs four wheel drive AND chains on all four tires just to survive. They keep checking in with a very verbose reporter—Drew Carney, I think—stationed at a Les Schwab to keep an eye on those snow tires.

On KPTV, a reporter in Gateway says "we're waiting for some actual snow to fall... you can't see, but I've got my fingers crossed in my mitten." There's no ARCTIC BLASTOMG, just a WEATHER ALERT in ominous red letters. A reporter in the west hills notes that his "cup runneth over" with "a little snow."

KATU checks in with Melica Johnson in Salem—part of the Storm TRACKER Weather Team—standing on a "trouble spot" hill that hasn't seen any flakes yet. "This was the last pair of winter gloves at Fred Meyer here in Salem," she says, waving her black-clad hand at the camera. Brian Barker is in Portland at Les Schwab on NE 29th and Sandy, where he's been stationed "for four and a half hours now," and he reports that NE Sandy is still passable. "If you need to get to your local tire store, better do it now." Yes, quick! Drop a few hundred bucks on snow tires that are total overkill on most city streets.

Reporting live from my couch in NE Portland. Back to you.