shittycellphonepic.jpgLast night Neil Diamond played the final show of his 2008-09 world tour at the Rose Garden. He played most of the hits, including "Sweet Caroline" twice in a row—yep! I didn't know you could do that! But if ever a song begged to be played twice in a row, it's motherfucking "Sweet Caroline." There was also a sweaty rendition of "Forever in Blue Jeans," during which the largest pair of panties I have ever seen were thrown onto the stage. ("What is that? Is that a pillowcase?" I initially wondered. "Ohhhh.....") And a patriotic rendition of "America" that sounded like a million eagles soaring over Mount Rushmore while giving Chuck Norris-style roundhouse kicks to every terrorist in the world. Never at a concert have I seen so many walkers, wheelchairs, and those little tube things they shove up your nose. But let me tell you: Everyone there had a blast. I have never seen so many smiling old fogeys. They were all delighted, particularly the elderly women, all of whom had mysterious Mona Lisa smiles on their faces as Neil gyrated onstage. Yeah, the show was corny as all hell—but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun.

For the full review, and more crappy cell phone pics, go to End Hits.