Actual photo of the Mercury music staff. It's very important we know what time it is in Moscow.

Hello. We're looking for an intern. But not just any intern, we are seeking a music intern. Unlike other editorial word slaves, we won't bother you with requests to see that one Jamie Kennedy movie that none of us want to see (which, to be honest, is all of them), write art reviews, or memorize and file Wm. Steven Humphrey's various sexual safe words (you'll never think of "Snuffleupagus" the same way again). Nope, you will be strictly devoted to the music section.

What does this internship require?
- There will be some mild calendar entry (boring), music blogging (exciting), talking about music (exciting), and listening to me talk about music (boring).
- You will probably be asked to contribute to our non-award winning weekly publication.
- You will probably be asked to contribute to End Hits, our non-award winning music blog.
- You will not be paid. Sorry.
- You will get free music, concerts, and the ability to silently judge others based solely on their (poor) taste in music. This is totally priceless.
- You will get published clips for your future career as a writer. (Career tip: Get used to hearing "you will not be paid.")
- You will get school credit. That is, if your school gives credit for such things.
- You will work in an office that includes both electricity and running water. (Work hours only, please.)

Wow, I can think of nothing better, what do you require of me?
- You can form a sentence. Hell, if you can form a sentence, I should be working for you.
- Previously published clips are not required, but they sure are nice. If you don't have them, worry not.
- You know about local music. Do you go to local shows? Do you know the Hush from the Coop? Do you know Meth Teeth from Teeath?

I am still reading this post, that means I must be interested.
- Excellent. Please send any clips—or, let's say 100 words on your favorite local release of last year—to this address.
- Also, send your availability. Ideally we're looking for about 12 hours a week, preferably on Mondays and Fridays.

That is all. Now back to more blog posts about 4 Non Blondes.