Reason #326,092 to be jealous of me—NOW I WEAR A SASH!

Yeah, a lot of people are saying "it's the hottest new fashion trend of 2009," but I'm like, "whatever." Sometimes I just like to wear a sash that provides people on the street with a visual reminder of who I am. (Note that my sash says "WINNER"—and NO, the party store where I bought it did NOT have a sash that says "LOSER" because if they had, I would have bought it for YOU. That's what's called a "preemptive burn."

A NSFW version of this photo after the jump.

Yes, that's a third nipple.