E3 kicks off next week and in lieu of frying my pasty Caucasoid ass off in sunny Los Angeles, I'm spending the week strapped to my laptop, trying to explain to my roommate's cat why he can't eat Skittles.

The happy benefit of this arrangement, for everyone aside from the candy-starved cat, is that I'm also free to pass along all the trailers you're missing out on by being stuck in Oregon's most hedonistic city.

Expect more footage to follow as the week progresses, but here's a few of the already-launched clips to whet your appetite for pre-release hype.

Dante's Inferno — Who better to turn a classic literary meditation on the depths of human depravity and religious decadence than the company who brings us endless Madden sequels year after year?

Lost Planet 2 — The sequel to Capcom's award-winning shooter Lost Planet features lush jungles, huge robots and even more floating spherical bodies with absolutely no idea where they are.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 — Despite recapping the lengthy events of Marvel Comics' universe-wide Civil War event, MUA2's greatest accomplishment is featuring an iteration of Deadpool who was never a co-star in Two Guys, A Girl And A Pizza Place.