Science has consistently proven that reading is for librarians, nerds and this puppy. Instead of giving you a wall of text, here's a wall of videos. Your eyeballs will thank you.

Nothing says sexy like Renaissance-era Venice, except maybe blood-splattered Renaissance-era Venice as viewed through a half-melted synthesizer. I'd say this was a silly way to promote a game based on murdering Italians, but it is better than having the main character shout "That's-a spicy meat-a-ball!" after every successful kill.

A Boy And His Blob is a game about a pre-teen boy spending time in dangerous environments playing with a blob of white gelatinous goo. Just be happy the trailer isn't even remotely close to what you're thinking right now.

Remember BioShock? It was a moody, dark tale rife with evil mutants, evil Ayn Rand references and evil Irish accents.

BioShock 2? Not so much.

Contra ReBirth is a downloadable Wii game made of equal parts "fuck" and "yeah." It's the videogame equivalent of everything awesome about the 1980s, only with fewer Small Wonder reruns.