Why don’t the Swiss recognize that increasing your ability to win a bar fight is worthy of a Nobel Prize? I guess “neutrality” is just another way of saying “we’re big wimps.”

Thank goodness then that the people behind Harvard’s Annals of Improbable Research are there to pick up the slack by awarding a team of… Wait a second… Swiss researchers? Alight… Awarding a team of Swiss researchers the “coveted” Ig Nobel prize for this invaluable study:

Pathologist Stephan Bolliger and colleagues at the University of Bern in Switzerland won for a study they did to determine whether an empty beer bottle does more or less damage to the human skull than a full one in a bar fight.

"Both suffice in breaking the human skull," Mr Bolliger said.

"However, the empty ones are more sturdy. This is because the pressure of the beer, aided by carbonation, makes a full beer bottle explode quickly."

I totally take back that thing I said about the Swiss being wimps. I’m also making sure I chug my beer before throwing down at the next bar fight, which is scheduled to begin as soon as I chug this beer.

Another winner of note is Illinois resident Elana Bodnar for inventing a bra that can be converted quickly into two gas masks. Because when you’re in a riot support comes second to breathing. That's why I invented the athletic cup that converts to a gas mask... Which, for some reason, isn't selling.

The full story here.