I was excited to become an intern here at the Mercury. I knew the experience would offer me the intellectual stimulation I craved but did not necessarily receive at my service industry job. I would put my writing skills and artistic inclinations to use, making my own small contribution to the honorable work of newspapermen and women everywhere. I would be doing something good for myself and for mankind!

Then Marjorie told me my job for the day was to go through all the HUMP! submissions to make sure the DVDs worked.

And so I found myself watching a naked ass loom large on my computer screen. A funnel was brought into the scene and used in conjunction with said ass. I will give nothing more away, for you can all see this fine video (and many others!) for yourselves when the annual amateur porn festival comes to Portland! Yes, friends, the HUMP! festival, now in its fifth year, makes its Portland debut at Cinema 21 on October 23 and 24. Get your tickets here before it’s too late! And did I mention that the one and only Dan Savage will be hosting the event? And did I mention that the winners (determined by audience vote) get 2,000 smackaroos? And did I mention that I now feel—without a doubt—that I am upholding the noble tradition of the printed (or blogged) word?

Dont worry, you can hump all you want on Oct 23 & 24
  • Don't worry, you can hump all you want on October 23 & 24.