As many of you have probably already surmised (especially those who work here at the Mercury), I am an unrepentant bully. For me, a day isn't complete without calling Alison Hallett "four-eyes," pantsing Matt Davis, or dumping Patrick Coleman head first into a garbage can. Sometimes I like to stare at Erik Henriksen. I just stare at him. That's a form of bullying, too!
However, I also realize that my bullying goes too far sometimes, and that's why you should watch and follow the advice of this "Bully Smart" video circa the '90s. The most important thing to remember is that I rarely if ever listen to reason—and sometimes a sharp slap to the groin is the only thing that will slow me down. Afterward, don't forget to run!