Our Food Editor Keeping His Usual Low Profile


Is that his purse, too?
Is that why PAC was wearing a gorilla mask in that group photo?
Who needs to see his face? If he wears those wellies out and about every restaurateur in Portland will know him.
Which causes me no end of anguish, sgp. If only I weren't the only person in the greater Portland-Metro region who owns a pair of these boots... Anyone want me to buy them a pair?

And yes, Amos, that is my purse. But I prefer it to be called a "man bag," OR a "man satchel," OR "a metaphor for my enormous baggy testicles."

Oh, great! now I'll never be able to wear my testicles out to a restaurant either! Damn. This day is turning out to be total shit.
They should call that look, "The Portland-metro-shithead-full-of-himself."
Or, you could skip the veiled reference, JFC, and call the look, "Patrick-Alan-Coleman-is-an-enormous-asshole." I'm totally cool with that.
Tell them about the Badger on a Raft, PAC. Tell them.
That must be the bag Pattie keeps his dog-eared thesaurus in.
"No, don't shoot my pixelated old nintendo legs! People will RECOGNIZE me when I go into their restaurants!"
You know, there aren't that many green boots in this city anyways. It isn't good enough to pixelate them, you need to clip them out completely.
They don't call him Patrick "Old Nintendo Legs" Alan Coleman for nothing. They call him that for his old nintedo legs.
I believe what's more important here is not my old Nintendo legs, my boots, my testicles, my propensity for dressing like a self-important asshole, or how often I use a Thesaurus (which is a lot. Wait! I mean... an appreciable amount). It's that this post has received more comments than those on unemployment, Carrie Prejean, and Daniel Baldwin.

Admittedly, I helped.
Well to be fair though, that's essentially the one issue broken up into three blog posts.