Obama's plan to push health care reform through by Christmas is unsurprisingly hitting one major stumbling block: ABORTION.

A House Democrat plans to announce today to switch to the Republican side, and SURPRISE, SURPRISE, he's from Alabama.

A Pakistani court decrees that two men should have their ears and noses cut off—and after reading this depressing story, I'm starting to think it might not be a bad idea.

Police now suspect that the idea to steal the Auschwitz sign actually came from a foreigner. Not it!

Today on Wall Street, Darth Vader rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange. In a possibly related story, all the floor traders collapsed, complaining of an inability to breathe.

Prince William spends a night sleeping on the streets, making him the second posh Limey (besides Matt Davis) to do the same thing.

Two more Seattle-area cops are shot on the job.

Brittany Murphy's autopsy has reportedly come back "normal"—but toxicology reports are still weeks away.

And finally, here's a video Christmas Card featuring holiday lights from around Gainesville, Florida. It's all very beautiful, peaceful, and filled with the spirit of the season... THAT IS UNTIL THE ONE MINUTE MARK.