Well, well, well… what do we have here? A shirtless Tiger Woods gracing the cover of February's Vanity Fair (AKA the TMZ of the literati set).


I love how VF works the imagery of this pre-scandal Annie Leibovitz photo into their press release, thusly:

Woods "had always been the bionic man in terms of personality, controlling to a fault," Bissinger writes. He calls the pre-scandal Woods "the perfect man and pitchman for our imperfect times, a charming non-person," noting that "with Woods, everything was crafted to produce a man of nothing, with no interior--non-threatening and non-controversial." But "in the end it was the age-old clash of image versus reality.... He deluded himself into thinking he could be something that he wasn't: untouchable. The greatest feat of his career is that he managed to get away with it for so long in public, the bionic man instead of the human one who hit a fire hydrant."

Ah, subtlety. Such a 20th century conceit. ANYWAY! The photo does make me think of one thing that I hadn't considered about Tiger before the scandal broke—and that's the boner in my trousers. So walk a mile in the mistresses' eff-me pumps, and truthfully answer the following incredibly scientific (and as subtle as a Vanity Fair feature) Mercury poll: