While we have a fair amount of sympathy for new bands unclear of the complex nature of media relations, I'm not sure if this local band gets a pass for their poorly-spelled request for press coverage. Then again, our company vans do need a good washing...

Hello; I would like to promote my bands upcoming shows on your paper. Can you please tell me what the proper procedure is for making that possible. We are a local band and hope that the cost isn't that high. In exchange for a not so high cost, we will be more than happy to help deliver your paper or do some work around your facility, (ex) rake up, sweep up, paint, wash all your company vans, that kind of stuff. Will believe in your paper and the work that you do and that you are a pretty liberal paper that is not afraid to press the real questions that mainstream media shies away form, Props for you. We will always give you full EXCLUSIVE interviews long after we make it big. Lets face it, you should never be to big of were Home is. I look forward to hearing back from you. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely; [name retracted]

End Hits: Never be to big of were Home is.