I went to my first Trailblazers game ever last night and although the energy was great and the guy next to me in Section 300 with a wicked mullet shouting "SHOOT IT!" every few moments was great and Blaze the Trailcat was great, what really struck me was that I have never, ever seen a crowd so genuinely enthusiastic about Taco Bell Chalupas.
- CHA -whoop whoop - A!
Trailblazers games are punctuated with corporate giveaways, ranging from the "fun game" of an audience member guessing the price of a Home Depot cordless drill to a giant Ford blimp that poops out free Whopper coupons. When the Blazers hit their 100th point, suddenly the Rose Garden Jumbotron flashes images of savory Taco Bell Chalupas and on cue the thousands of screaming Blazers fans chanted "CHA-LU-PA! CHA-LU-PA!" Every time the Blazers score 100 points, audience members all win free Chalupas.
As the audience filed out after the game, senior citizens stood at every exit door, handing out small coupons for a free Chalupa. I didn't know what a Chalupa was, exactly (sort of a bastard taco?) so I took my free Chalupa coupon and moments later tried to find someone else to give it to. I have no need in my life for a "chewy, crispy shell" layered with seasoned beef. But here's an idea: why doesn't a homeless group set up shop outside the Rose Quarter every Blazers game and rake in the free Chalupas, since there are probably thousands of people like me who grab a coupon and then don't really want it? The coupons don't expire for a year, a homeless group could hand them out en-masse to hungry people and Portland's homeless would have a few more pounds of seasoned beef in their stomachs every year.
Aaaannnddd I just solved homelessness. Thank you, thank you.