UPDATE (4:03 pm): Wow, that was fast—my inbox is already full of emails loudly proclaiming that Patrick Alan Coleman can suck it. All of my comp tickets are gone; if you were one of the first five people to respond, I'll email you shortly to let you know how to get your tickets. Go forth, my friends. Vote in my name.

As my shamelessly self-promotional colleague, Mr. Patrick Alan Coleman, has been kind enough to repeatedly mention, both he and I (as well as some people I haven't heard of, "Matt Davis" and "Jay Horton"?) are nominated for "Most Good Writer" at the 2010 BarFly Awards.

An honor? Most assuredly! Alas, I'll be unable to attend the ceremony where the voting will take place—the BarFly Awards will be voted on and awarded at the Mt. Tabor Legacy (4811 SE Hawthorne) this Sunday, April 11, from 8 pm-midnight. It's sure to be a hell of a party (invite only! beer! booze! free motherfuckin' h'or douvres!), and BarFly was kind enough to send me 10 admission tickets that I can give out to anyone I damn well please.

That could be you! The first five people who email me with "Patrick Alan Coleman can suck it" as their subject line will get two tickets to the BarFly Awards. The only conditions? (A) You and a friend go, and (B) you and your friend vote for me*. Sound like a great deal? That's because it is.

*As hard as Coleman's campaigning, I don't have a shot at winning—but on the off-chance that I do, I've arranged for Coleman to be the one who will have to accept my award for me.