The Oregon Liquor Control Commission just Tweeted a link to this online alcohol screening test, which will assess your drinking against the rest of the US population and try to help you figure out...well...

  • SHIT

Fortunately, I got this answer back:

God bless the O'Douls! But then, on my bad days, I think I'm still what Roger Ebert would describe as a "white knuckle dry drunk." For example, I am really looking forward to getting high at the dentist's next week when they rip out my wisdom teeth. But. I filled out the survey based on my drinking habits at their peak, and was woefully informed that a whopping 12% of the adult male population drinks more than I used to. Can you top that? Pussy? Huh?