Following two years of abject poverty, Citigroup reports they have a profit of $4.4 billion. You know, when I make a $4.4 billion profit, then I'll celebrate.

Meanwhile, Goldman Sachs is in BIIIIIIIIG trouble with the SEC.

A top al-Qaeda leader is killed by Iraqi intelligence officers.

Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden's Facebook page has been shut down. Man! Those Iraqi intelligence officers are thorough!

Travelers are still stuck in Europe thanks to the volcanic eruption underneath southern Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull glacier (say it five times... or once... fast).

Toyota has agreed to pay a whopping $16.4 million fine for attempting to cover up their sticky pedal problem.

Happy birthday, Oklahoma City Bombing! (Errr… yeah. Sorry.)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Possible showers this afternoon into tomorrow morning, followed by a mostly sunny week in the lower 60s.

Remember the A-MA-ZING Insane Clown Posse video "Miracles"? SNL took their own swipe at it this weekend with the Thrilla Killa Klownz' "Magical Mysteries." It's all anti-scientific and shit, ninjas!