General Stanley A. McChrystal—he of the scathing remarks in the most recent Rolling Stone magazine—paid a little visit to President Obama's woodshed today. OUCH.

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Obama and Hillary Clinton: "Gay rights are human rights." Then let's stop dragging our gay-positive feet, shall we?

Since Tony Hayward is a complete unmitigated disaster as BP frontman and a human being, the oil company has named manager Bob Dudley to head the gulf oil crisis. (Yay! A new ass to whip.)

Disgraced former governor of New York Eliot Spitzer has been sent down to the minors—which is to say of course, becoming a talk show host on CNN.

U.S. soccer advances at the World Cup with a 1-0 victory over Algeria!

Former Vice President Al Gore has been accused of attacking a sex masseuse massage therapist (Big difference! Sorry about that!) in PORTLAND, OREGON by the National Enquirer (who we now know is occasionally right about some things.)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny and comfortably warm for the foreseeable future. IS SUMMER FINALLY HERE??

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And finally, the rap world finally gives hilarious props to the one place where the entire world shops: "I Got it at Ross!"