Finally, our national nightmare is over. As you undoubtedly know, since his death in 1996, America has been looking for a "white Tupac" (apparently because there's already been a black Tupac, and we're not quite ready for a Mongolian Tupac). Thankfully, Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg has stepped up to solve this conundrum once and for all! From CNN:

“The world needs Justin Bieber,” he said of his decision to pass the torch to the 16-year-old singing sensation. “Justin Bieber is like the white Tupac. Compared to a lot of people out there.”

YES! YESSS! YESSSSS!!! Did you hear that, world? Justin Bieber is the white Tupac, which now makes him socially acceptable, which means you have to like him too, which means I'm no longer considered a pedophile. PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR MOST HUMBLE APOLOGIES IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. And as always, if you don't like the idea of Justin Bieber being crowned the new white Tupac, you can always....