Over 1/5th of Pakistan is under water and over 2 million flood victims are homeless. HOLY SHIT.
After a jury deadlock, prosecutors will be trying once again to prosecute slippery former Gov. Rod Blagojevich on corruption charges.
New York Governor David Paterson plans to meet with developers who want to build a mosque close to ground zero, in order to ask them to... mmmm... I don't know... maybe not build their mosque so close to ground zero.
The Pentagon has expressed interest in meeting with the Wikileaks whistle blower to help redact information that could put civilians in danger, AND I BET THEY'RE REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT.
Military fighter jets scramble, creating window shaking sonic booms, to intercept a float plane that had violated President Obama's air space near Seattle.
After being correctly identified as a racist b-hole, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is retiring her long-running and wildly offensive radio show.
Sorry, local Glee-tards! The budget for Portland school choral programs has been cut.
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Clouds clear with a high of 79 today, followed by a much cooler weekend.
And finally, I could tell you what the following video is about... but then I'd have to kill you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!