Time for our weekly True Blood discussion group! Get into the car!


I know I told you I'd come back to your house and watch you try on outfits, but we gotta take care of this first!

In classic True Blood style, this episode, the penultimate of the season, was a total mess. There's so much going on and I know they're not going to be wrapping much up next week. Some of the things that are just getting started:

Jason just found out that Crystal is a were-panther and now they have to save her were-panther compound from becoming the next Waco. He also found out that QB superstar Kitch is doing V. Reasons why we should care are unclear.

Arlene thought she had a miscarriage thanks to Merlotte's new waitress and her Wiccan ritual. Turns out Rene Jr. is too strong for that hocus-pocus (much to Terry's relief). Will Arlene's baby be true evil? We'll have to wait and see. She's not even showing yet, so it'll probably be season 9 before a baby comes out.

Jesus, who may or may not be a secret demon, is ready to permanently turn on, tune in and drop out with V. This gives Lafayette the heebies thanks to all the spooky dolls he owns coming to life and chanting his name. It'll be season 4 at least before we know what this is all about. Remember how long it took us to figure out Sookie was a fairy? Forfuckingever.

Some things that will probably wrap up:

Fare-thee-well Russell Edgington, King of Mississippi. You just got snookered by the old "fairy blood makes you a daywalker" trick. Will Eric die too? No, probably not; he was just on the cover of Rolling Stone. It's time for Russell, one of True Blood's most awesome characters, to exit stage left, though I was hoping for more fallout from his spot on the nightly news. All this drama has put some strain on Sookie and Bill's relationship. Will it survive? Probably; they were just on the cover of Rolling Stone with Eric.

Hoyt and Jessica are together again, though Summer and Mean Ol' Mrs. Fortenberry are not going to take defeat sitting down. I love the gender/power reversal of Hoyt and Jessica's relationship, where Hoyt maintains his masculinity while being submissive to his more powerful partner. You don't see that on TV a lot.

Tara's letting Eggs RIP by fucking Sam Merlotte. Sam drove Tommy to steal from his safe. Now Sam and Tara will get married and live in a trailer reserved for unpopular recurring characters. Their baby will be more evil than Arlene's.

Stray notes and quotes

Does Jason still want to be a cop? Is that arc over? They seem unclear about how they want to focus his character right now.

If Sookie became a vampire could she still go out in the sun? Would that make her Blade?

The insults this season have been awesome. I loved Pam calling Bill an "infatuated tween" and Russell calling Eric "a lump of muscle with a blood-grudge."

Andy Bellefleur had a chance to show some real acting range during Tara's confrontation. That was a beautiful scene.

Arlene has the body of a tired teenager.

Crystal's double-cousin Beaufort ain't right!

How 'bout Eric's ringtone for Pam?

Pillowtalk, Fortenberry style: "If my arms and legs did get cut off and I drank your blood would they grow back?"

"I can't even reach up to my closet shelf without a grabber."

"It's fairies! Fuckin' fairies! Who knew?!"

"If yer hungry you can eat mah rahngs."