Usually after someone directs something as unintentionally goofy as Across the Universe, they're given a swift kick in the ass and never, ever allowed to direct anything ever, ever again. That's not the case with Julie Taymor, though, who somehow snagged the job to direct the Spider-Man Broadway musical—a troubled production that boasts songs by U2 and a "geek chorus." For a little while, it seemed as if the world had come to its senses and the production had been mercy killed, but, but....

But now it's back, much to the chagrin of anyone who has ever read a comic book, been to a play, or heard a song. And even worse, someone with terrible judgment has now let Taymor on television, where she's proudly showing off her vision. Like, say, her version of the Green Goblin, who I'm 99 percent sure came about this way:

TAYMOR: So you guys know how the Green Goblin looks kinda dumb even in the comics, right?
COSTUMERS: Right, right. Kinda silly.
TAYMOR: And you know how somebody had the terrible idea to make him look like a rejected power ranger in the movie, right?
COSTUMERS: Right, yeah. Man, that was awful.
TAYMOR: Good. Because now, you poor bastards, I challenge you to come up with something even worse.


Oh god. She looks... she looks proud.
  • Oh god. She looks... she looks proud.

Then everyone got to hear a song from the play, "Boy Falls from the Sky." Get ready to have some "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" flashbacks.

A few thoughts:

1. I am a huge Spider-Man fan.
2. I am also a fan of horribly conceived clusterfucks.
3. This musical seems as if it were made just for me.

Via Topless Robot.