I recently separated from my wife of 11 years, and have met someone new. She's everything that I want. We've been dating now for a little less than a month and we've been fooling around now for a good part of the time. Everything we do before the actual sex is amazing. The problem that I'm worried about is when it comes time for the actual intercourse. When we stop to put on a condom, I start to lose my hard on. It remains hard enough for her to orgasm, but when I put it in her I almost always lose it. When I was with my ex I would always blow my load early, but with my girlfriend it takes me six times or more before I come. She has an orgasm everytime we do this. She apologizes, and I tell her not to worry about it because she's satisfied. I've only used a condom once or twice before her. She insists on them until she is sure about us. Then after that no more condoms. Is there something wrong with me? Any advice or possible solutions for my problem?

Gone Soft

My response after the jump...


It sounds like this is a problem that will eventually solve itself—when you get serious about each other, test, and abandon condoms—but in the meantime...

Condoms are a new and, it seems, slightly deflating sensation for you. Here's what you do: start wearing a condom while you masturbate. Every single time. No condom, no orgasm. Make condoms your dick's new best friend, get familiar with 'em, experiment with brands and makes (latex, polyurethane, male condoms, female condoms), and soon you and your dick will find them less spooky and spooking. Good luck.

Oh, and let your lady friend know what you're doing—you don't want her stumbling across a wastebasket full of used condoms and concluding that you're fucking around with dozens of other women.