I've still got a while before I can tell you guys how awesome or not awesome Dead Rising 2 is, but there is nothing in Capcom's embargo forbidding me from pointing out the logically placed, but confusingly sexy in-game ads that may very well distract players from nearby hordes of shambling undead.

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Can you guess which one of those boxes hides a penis?
  • Air-brushing, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder
  • Can you guess which one of those boxes hides a penis?

In case you aren't familiar with the concept of in-game advertising, here's a quick primer courtesy Wikipedia:

In-game advertising refers to the use of computer and video games as a medium in which to deliver advertising. In 2005, spending on in-game advertising was US $56 million, and this figure is estimated to grow to $1.0 billion by 2014 ...

In short, there's tons of cash to be made by letting companies fill the blank billboards and posters inside your new, online-enabled game with ads for their latest TV show, car, or magazine full of sexy, sexy, naked, sexy co-eds.

*cue record skipping noise*

Yeah. Co-eds. Nekkid. Porno, porno, porno! God bless America!

*Nex wipes a tear from the eye of a nearby bald eagle*

Hit the jump for an uncensored look at the ad.

Zombie women: Jealous AND bitey!
  • Capcom? Playboy? Me? Who knows?
  • Zombie women: Jealous AND bitey!

You'll have to excuse the slightly less-than-radical picture quality, as these were created by capturing in-game images off of my HDTV with my digital camera. For some reason, Capcom isn't sending these out in their media blasts for the game.

Personally, if I was promoting the first video game to feature high resolution ads for Playboy, I'd be shouting it from the rooftops. At the very least you could probably get a couple of horny 12-year-old boys to beg their parents for a copy just for the chance to see the awesome naked parts that all the ladies they know keep selfishly hiding from them with dresses, underwear and court orders.

Click to embiggen. (Yes, this is an erection joke.)
  • Larry Flynt's Prosthetic Man Parts
  • Click to embiggen. (Yes, this is an erection joke.)

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Sadly, there is no real nudity in the game, as far as I can tell. Admittedly, I haven't seen it all, so there may very well be a hidden zombie orgy room down the next hall.

It's almost funny that these "sexy ads" likely got some of you excited over the prospect of seeing hot Dead Rising-style porn. Yet, just like the Playboy magazines being advertised, the reality is a pretty girl strategically designed to make you spend as much cash while turning your reproductive bits into an angry shade of cyan.

Forget the zombies, Hugh Hefner is the real monster here.

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