Well there you have it. The second season of Jersey Shore is over. The long journey is over. We've seen the Jersey Babies at their worst and we've seen them at their worst from different angles. I already pretty much summed up my thoughts on the show last week. Last night's phenomenally boring season finale did nothing to change my mind that these people have nothing entertaining left to offer the American public.

There were a couple of notable things last night, though. Now that Angelina's gone, the mantle of Worst Person in the House has been on Situation's shoulders. That is, until Sammi made the robbery tonight by being forcibly unpleasant to everyone - including Snooki, who just wanted help making tacos! Also, Vinny rejects two girls who are trying to start a threesome because he is committed to his perpetually late long-distance girlfriend. In a profoundly sad moment, Situation swoops in to escort the girls into the nearest bathroom stall. The smug look on his face was too much.

Then everyone started calling each other "fake" and accusing each other of calling each other "fake". It was seriously dramatic. Then they stopped doing that and it wasn't. Then they all went home. The End.

So who's sticking around for next season? I think I might be done, though Jersey Shore is definitely not. The show has just now almost reached complete media saturation. What should we do? Start watching the slate of JS knock-offs coming down the pipe (Korean Jersey Shore, Russian Jersey Shore, Canadian Jersey Shore, Southern Jersey Shore...)? Or, I dunno, we could all just read a book or something.

Honestly, if I have any other final thoughts for this season they are sad thoughts. All I know is that months ago I started laughing at these losers on TV, enjoying the contrast between their disproportionately large egos and general worthlessness. Somewhere along the line I became the loser and they all became multimillionaires. Isn't it ironic that those egos seem totally justifiable now? Millions of people like me have spent hours feeding the Jersey Shore Neilsen ratings with our rapt attention, massaging our own self-superiority. But here I sit on the poverty level while somewhere DJ Pauly D is getting blown in the back of his Trans Am that's being transported by private jet to a secret island for rich people. The Guidos have won, everyone, and we handed it to them.

Stray notes and quotes

"Give a cat a meatball!"

"The 'amburguh meat looks like Vinny's chest haiuh!"

"I'm gonna have a heart attack in two minutes! My blood pressure is off the roof."