This is the best news I've heard all day, guys: Denver voters have rejected an initiative that would have established a commission to track alien movements.

Colorado's Initiative 300 asked voters to "adopt an initiated ordinance to require the creation of an extraterrestrial affairs commission to help ensure the health, safety and cultural awareness of Denver residents and visitors in relation to potential encounters or interactions with extraterrestrial intelligent beings or their vehicles?"

No dice, y'all! The aliens are still free to roam, untethered and untracked! A victory for freedom!

In other good news, the Onion reports that none other than Oregon Representative Peter DeFazio is the sole surviving politician of this bloody, bloody election.


  • The Onion