Portland police sent out an alert this morning that they discovered five county department of corrections vehicles had their tires slashed overnight and had "some form of acid" thrown on them. Who could these mystery slashers be with their vague but violent anti-authority/police/jail/acid-free-cars statement?!

This differs from last year's car acid attack, when unknown "eco-saboteurs" poured acid on 15 Hummers at the local Vic Alfonso dealership.

So, based on nothing but our kneejerk reactions, who do you think slashed the department of corrections tires?