SKYLINE If the twist isnt that the aliens are just a race of giant vacuum cleaners Im gonna be disappointed.
  • SKYLINE If the twist isn't that the aliens are just a race of giant vacuum cleaners, I'm gonna be disappointed.

Opening today is the alien-invasion flick Skyline, a film that's supposedly so similar to this spring's alien-invasion flick Battle: Los Angeles that Sony tried to sue Skyline's filmmakers. Even so, and because I like both aliens and invasions, I was gonna go to the press screening of Skyline so I could review it for you guys. Then I remembered two things:

1) There weren't any press screenings for Skyline, perhaps because it's getting early fanboy reviews like these, and

2) Skyline was directed by the same guys who made this goddamn thing, and fuck that

BUT ANYWAYS, I'm hearing that Skyline as an ass-clenchingly awful twist ending that I am incredibly curious about. Ever since Dungeons & Dragons—a film that suddenly and inexplicably ends with all of the major characters turning into magical glowing orbs and flying away—I have been delighted by terrible movie endings, and it sounds like Skyline might have one to offer. But I really don't want to sit through the whole movie to see what that awful ending is, so—in a contest that's sure to earn me the ire of at least one movie publicist—I'm asking anyone who's seen Skyline to spoil its ending for me. Whoever uses this post's comment thread to spoil Skyline's ending in the most entertaining manner wins a rental VHS copy of Dungeons & Dragons Mazes and Monsters, which yes, for some stupid reason, I own.

IN OTHER ALIEN-INVASION MOVIE NEWS, Sony just so happened to release its Battle: Los Angeles trailer on the very same day Skyline came out. (Nice work, you passive-aggressive bastards!) Now, it might just be my predilection for aliens and invasions, but I think it looks fucking awesome. AND it comes out on my birthday, which obviously means God made this movie special, just for me. Thanks God!