Normally I'm all for a moratorium on Greg Oden + injury jokes, but I'll make an exception for The Onion.

PORTLAND, OR—Although Portland Trail Blazers coach Nate McMillan has repeatedly warned his team about using the basketball around "valuable" and "really fragile" center Greg Oden, several players accidentally knocked the seven-footer to the floor with a carelessly thrown ball Thursday and shattered him into a thousand pieces.

But this is my favorite line:

Power forward Dante Cunningham suggested replacing Oden with retired center Shawn Bradley and was immediately told to "just leave."

It's funny (and it hurts) because it's true.