We used this image years ago and Im too lazy to Photoshop another one.
  • We used this image years ago and I'm too lazy to Photoshop another one.

Last night while I was at the movies watching the totally bitchin' Saw 3D: The Traps Come Alive (Okay, fine, I was actually at Harry Potter. You happy?) I got multiple text messages demanding I immediately head to NE Alberta bar the Bye and Bye. Why? Because Morrissey was there.

No way I was leaving that movie (Hermione was in trouble), plus the whole thing seemed a little preposterous. But just in case, let's do the rumor math...

• Morrissey is not currently on tour.
• Morrissey is totally vegan, much like the Bye and Bye's menu.
• Morrissey is cold and alone, much like the snow that blanketed Portland.
• Morrissey used to play in some band with Portland resident Johnny Marr (although they probably hate each other).
• Morrissey is quite vain, so he'd love the very special Thanksgiving edition of Trouble Loves Me, it's Portland's best Morrissey tribute night. Look at the flyer, it's Moz and a Turkey.

• Everything else.

I think the cons have it.

End Hits: Mozzer, if you are in town this week, come by my house for Thanksgiving. We're having Tofurkey.