Holy shit, I can already feel the hot, sour bile inching its way past my epiglottis and into the back of my salty, spit-filled mouth!

This isn't just gluttony. This is 79,000 calories of beautiful, cardinal sin: A quail stuffed in a Cornish hen stuffed in a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey, festooned with bacon, and then stuffed in a young, suckling pig. Also decorated with bacon. And filled with bacon stuffing. And smoked with regular drizzles of a Dr. Pepper/melted butter marinade.

After dinner?

(Fun fact! While the Romans did enjoy a good puke with a fancy meal, that wasn't what vomitoriums were for.)