More information came in last night about the 22-year-old man found dead of hypothermia Tuesday morning in Waterfront Park. Mike Ellis was kicked out of a club the night before because he took off his shirt, and his friends are outraged he was booted into the street partially undressed.

It was smoke, not bullets. A man who died early Tuesday in a standoff with Portland police was killed by smoke inhalation, after a fire broke out during a shootout with officers, the medical examiner's office found in an autopsy. But the man also was shot, the autopsy revealed.

Police union cries POLITICS! Union President Daryl Turner expands on his stern statement after Officer Ron Frashour's firing in the death of Aaron Campbell, claiming that the police bureau's trainers hadn't been consulted in a politically motivated probe that led to the discipline. And if they had, he says, they would have said it was okay to beanbag and shoot an unarmed, mentally distraught man who was mostly complying with officers in a poorly managed standoff.

Also big in Texas? Comeuppance. Remember Tom DeLay, the crooked Republican asshat in charge of the House of Representatives half a decade ago? A jury found him guilty of laundering political contributions from corporations. He could get up to 99 years. Or probation. Check the judge's desk for envelopes.

Who are you people? And why can't you just sleep off the booze like the rest of us? Seriously. Eat a Xanax.

Those crazy cats at WikiLeaks are at it again. This time, it's expected to be a bunch of sensitive State Department cables. Possible revelations? Dirty shenanigans by our diplomatic corps, mean (honest) things about other countries we'd never say to their faces, and information about our contacts with political dissidents who could wind up jailed or killed.

Guess who's coming to dinner? An e-mail creep! An Australian mistakenly copied onto a Palm Beach family's Thanksgiving message threads finally tracked down the Tran clan after years as a bemused voyeur—and finagled an invite to winner-winner-turkey-dinner.

OH! The world might still be coming apart. More fallout after this week's bomb-lobbing by a starving, maniacal North Korea—a place whose desperate hunger we should keep in mind while we're stuffing our own faces today.

And what am I thankful for today? That I'm better off than either of these poor, awkwardly filmed pooches.