Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers host the Los Angeles Clippers in a game with playoff implications in the Western Conference a battle of basement dwellers. It has been a rough couple of weeks for Portland, who are in the midst of an absolutely ugly six game losing streak. Not only is this Portland's longest losing streak since the '05-06 season, but they managed to lose on the road to the Nets, the Sixers, and the Wizards, three of the bottom four teams in the Eastern Conference.
Portland, it is time to panic.
On an incredibly small positive note for the Blazers, tonight marks the home-debut of Joel Przybilla, who will play his first game in the Rose Garden in almost a year. At the moment, however, the Blazers need more of a spark than just one player returning, so here's to hoping Joel can unhinge his jaw and swallow Blake Griffin whole.
PRE-GAME:
Speaking of Blake Griffin, that kid is ridiculous. Normally when the Clippers come to town, it's a good chance for comic relief as they are easily one of the worst-run franchises in the NBA. Now it is hard to laugh at them too loudly, because Griffin can do things like this. And this. And this. Even though their record sits at 4-16, Griffin pushes them towards near-relevance. And if not that, he at least makes them completely watchable.
The Portland bigs need to get ready for their close-ups, because they are surely going to be put on a few Blake Griffin posters tonight.
All joking aside, Portland cannot lose this game tonight. A seven game losing streak—against the quality of opponents they have been facing—is unacceptable, and will surely result in some sort of action, whether that be a trade or the firing of Nate McMillian. Things are currently that bad.
I just referenced Brokencyde on press row. That is not a good sign for the things to come tonight.
FIRST QUARTER:
10:25 - Blake Griffin had a chance to dunk, but chose to lay it in instead. It's like my whole world has been a lie up until now. 3-2 Blazers.
7:53 - Wesley Matthews with a steal and a layup on the other end. Portland looks inspired early on, and Matthews has eight early points. It's like they're playing for their jobs or something. Oh, wait. 12-4 Blazers.
5:32 - Marcus Camby already has seven rebounds and four points. Think he likes playing against the team that traded him away? 16-4 Blazers.
5:13 - First Blake Griffin dunk. Approximately twenty-seven more to follow. 16-6 Blazers.
2:32 - Off a botched alley-oop to Griffin, the Blazers get out an run. It's nice to see the Blazers on the break, as it happens about as often an a solar eclipse. Easy points ensue, and this is becoming a runaway. Hopefully Portland can build up an eighty point lead, because with the way they've been playing in the second half, that's the only lead that is safe. 25-9 Blazers.
2:02 - Joel Przybilla is checking in. The crowd is going absolutely nuts. He took a charge, set a pick, and fumbled a pass all on the way to the scorer's table. And thus beings the "Joel Przybilla clap clap clap clap clap" chants. 25-10 Blazers.
1:26 - Przybilla just almost broke Griffin's arm with an insanely hard foul. It only took thirty seconds. Welcome back, indeed. 25-11 Blazers.
0:00 - At the end of the first, Portland is fully in charge. Patty Mills hit a three, Wesley Matthews has twelve points, and Camby has nine rebounds. Keep calm and carry on. Oh, and some guy named Joel is bringing the house down with every touch of the ball. 30-15 Blazers.
SECOND QUARTER:
10:14 - Baron Davis just posterized Przybilla and picked up the and one. The air got sucked out this place real quick. On the next play, Joel picked up his third foul. Three fouls, four minutes of play. It's like he hasn't played basketball in a year, or has morphed into Sean Marks. 32-21 Blazers.
8:06 - Rudy Fernandez threw a beautiful lob to Nicolas Batum for the alley-oop, who finished with a pretty double-clutch dunk. 38-21 Blazers.
5:52 - Fernandez with a three from the corner! Batum with a pull up jumper! So much Spain! So much France! 44-25 Blazers.
4:43 - Eric Bledsoe is incredibly fast. Good thing he is having an off night, because he should be able to destroy Andre Miller with all that speed. Oh, and the Blazers are still winning big. 48-29 Blazers.
3:24 - Nicolas Batum is having his best game since being pulled from the starting rotation. The Blazers are winning. I do not believe this is a coincidence. He has nine points and ten rebounds, all in twelve minutes of play. 50-33 Blazers.
2:53 - Griffin tried to throw it down hard, but got called for the charge instead. That was the second loudest this crowd has been all night. 50-33 Blazers.
0:00 - "Patty Mills from Down Under!" Really, announcer? This is what you choose to say when Patty hits a three? Ugh. 59-37 Blazers.
HALFTIME:
Here comes the stat pony! The Clippers are currently shooting 0-8 from distance, are getting out rebounded 28-15, and have four assists to Portland's twelve. Right there is your ball game. At this point, though, no lead is safe with the Blazers playing in the second half, where they've been downright atrocious as of late.
THIRD QUARTER:
10:40 - After three straight LaMarcus Aldridge misses, Camby winds up going after a loose ball and ends up three rows deep in the stands. Thankfully, on his way out, he smacked the ball against a Clipper player. Blazer ball. 59-39 Blazers.
9:12 - So, about that halftime lead? The Clippers are chipping away. LaMarcus misses two free throws, and then proceeds to foul Blake Griffin on the other end. He misses both, but the Clippers get the rebound. Portland still hasn't scored this quarter. 59-42 Clippers.
8:33 - Brandon Roy hits two free throws! Portland scores! Hooray! 61-42 Blazers.
7:14 - Wesley Matthews scores! Portland gets their first field goal of the half! 63-46 Blazers.
6:28 - Everything that was going right in the first half is going wrong in the second. Portland can't score, yet keep going to Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge to shoot jumpers. The Clippers are getting out in transition, getting to the foul line, and are slowly coming back into this game. Things are just about to be in panic mode. 63-49 Blazers.
5:36 - Roy and Aldridge are a combined 4-19 from the field. That is not good. 63-50 Blazers.
3:27 - Blake Griffin just scored his sixth point of the half. The Blazers, as a team, have eight. Ryan Gomes follows that up with a three. Try...not...to...PANIC!!!! 67-57 Blazers.
1:34 - Brian Cook hits a three. The twenty-two point lead at halftime is now down to single digits. 71-62 Blazers.
0:04 - Joel Przybilla just got fouled HARD. On his way up for a dunk, Brian Cook shoved Joel in the stomach, making him lose his balance mid-air and land directly on his back. It was an ugly foul, called a flagrant two on the floor. A mini-fight broke out right after the foul, with Batum rushing to Joel's aid and getting in the face of the entire Clippers team. This just might be the wake-up call the Blazers needed after that terrible third quarter. 73-64 Blazers.
0:04 - Joel is okay. Brian Cook is ejected. Baron Davis and Nicolas Batum get double-technicals. That was a testy few minutes. Too bad Joel can only convert on one of his two free throws. 74-64 Blazers.
FOURTH QUARTER:
11;24 - After a Nicolas Batum turnover, Eric Gordon follows it up with a three pointer on the other end. I WILL NOT PANIC. I WILL NOT PANIC. I WILL NOT PANIC. 76-67 Blazers.
10:20 - Thank you, Rudy Fernandez. Five quick points, one on a three, one on an alley-oop. 81-69 Blazers.
8:17 - Craig Smith picks up a technical after getting ready to fight Rudy Fernandez after Rudy fouled him hard to prevent a dunk. That was a really awkward sentence. About as awkward as Smith looked trying to go after Fernandez. Apparently Smith had gotten a T in the early scuffle, so he got ejected from the game. And another one gone. 82-70 Portland.
7:02 - Camby picked up a flagrant foul against Blake Griffin. The refs are calling this one REAL tight now. Good thing Griffin is now 5-14 from the line after missing the two free throws. 82-73 Blazers.
6:18 - Blake Griffin with two quick field goals, and all of a sudden the Clippers are within five. Yes, you read that right. They are within five. To make matters worse, there is now a Rat King on the court dancing during the timeout. I just.... 82-77 Blazers.
4:53 - LaMarcus Aldridge just fouled out of the game, picking up his sixth foul on Blake Griffin. Blake must have at least seventeen fouls called against him tonight. And look at that, he made his free throws! 84-81 Blazers.
4:24 - HUGE play. Miller picks Bledsoe's pocket at mid-court, passes to Matthews for a wide open dunk. The Rose Garden finally has some life in it. 87-81 Blazers.
2:18 - Miller with another huge play, grabbing an offensive rebound off of a Batum miss. Andre does not want to lose this game. The next play is a long three from Brandon Roy. 92-84 Blazers.
1:29 - Rasual Butler hits a three in transition. The Blazer lead is only three. If you have fingernails, now is the time to chew them. 92-89 Blazers.
1:15 - Rapid fire updates! Brandon Roy is fouled on the perimeter, and calmly sinks the two free throws. Just for reference, the Clippers are 24-41 from the line tonight. They make a few more of those, this is a very different game right now. 94-89 Blazers.
0:30 - This might be the ugliest game I have ever seen. After a Roy turnover, Griffin fails on the three on one fast-break, afraid to go up for the dunk. Miller strips the ball away, and then is fouled on the other end. He makes both free throws, and it looks like the Blazers may escape this one. 96-91 Blazers.
0:24 - Wow. The ugliness just does not stop. Miller steals the ball, passes up ahead to Batum who was leaking out on the break. Batum is fouled hard by Baron Davis (how was that not a flagrant!?), and lands a few rows deep in the stands. Wow. I have no words for this game, other than I'm glad you are almost over. 98-91 Blazers.
0:00 - I am so glad this game is over. The Blazers win (finally), a bunch of people got ejected, and the crowd erupted when Matthews secured them chalupas.
Join us again on Tuesday when the Blazers take on the Suns.
FINAL SCORE: 100-91 Blazers.
