CONFIDENTIAL TO MERCURY EMPLOYEES:
Guys. I'm getting pretty sick of saying this. But if you don't want our "Planet Rock" halftime performance at tonight's Blazers vs. Orlando game to completely suck donkey dick, THEN YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO PRACTICE!!
Since I already know MY part of the routine, I've embedded this video of professional dance instructor John Jacobson who will run through the Planet Rock choreography with you. BUT PLEASE! Please focus on your "double dream hands!" The "crank underhands" and "double pats" are fine. WORK ON THE DOUBLE DREAM HANDS!!!
Jesus fucking Christ... I hate you people so much right now.