Finally! Here are those penis-enhancing underpants you've been searching for, guys! (Though I can't imagine anyone would ever admit it, thereby causing a bit of a marketing problem for its maker, but you know... WHATEVER.) It's called "The Shock Jock Penis-Enhancing Boxer and Brief" from designer Andrew Christian. (Added bonus: This is going to forever link "penis shame" to "Christians" in your Google searches. Yay!) Here's the secret ingredient that makes your teeny-weeny-peeny go from "meow" to "WOW!"

Now youre a shower as well as a grower!
  • Now you're a "shower" as well as a "grower"!

AFTER THE JUMP, you can see what it looks like in slightly NSFW action—which I have to admit is sorta, kinda, absolutely underwhelming. In fact, it's SO underwhelming, I'm incapable of staring at it, since all my attention is on the model's freak rising belly button. WTF, DUDE? Your b-button is almost level with your nips! Does Andrew Christian have a solution for that??
Hat tips to Marissa!

Belly Button: Ima movin on up! To the top!
  • Belly Button: "I'ma movin' on up! To the top!"