Chinese president Hu Jintao visits the White House, and loves it so much, he's buying it for 45 trillion dollars. Pocket change, really.

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords continues to improve and is planning on starting rehab (the physical kind, not the Lindsay Lohan kind) later this week.

The Republican House is ready to shit-can health care—even though they have no substitute in mind.

And while you probably already know this, GOP spending cuts will totally screw a shit-ton of their supporters. WAKE UP, HILLBILLIES.

It's official: Flip-floppy traitor Sen. Joe Lieberman is leaving office—and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, peehole!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: More sun (than usual) today and tomorrow with highs in the mid-40s.

And finally, as Scott reported yesterday, Regis Philbin is retiring from Live with Regis and Kelly—BUT HE AIN'T RETIRING FROM BEING SEXY! RRRRROOWWRRRR!

Sexy Grandpa!
  • Sexy Grandpa!