The following is an unpaid advertisement for LOVE.
Calling all B-town LOVAHS! Please do not forget that we are currently accepting your FREE valentines (addressed to the one or ones you love) for our annual Mercury Readers Valentine Issue, hitting the streets on February 10th! But since time has a way of sneaking up on you fast, you'd better act quick! DEADLINES FOR YOUR FREE MERCURY VALENTINE IS FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4TH!
How easy is it to submit a free Mercury valentine? As it turns out—EXTREMELY EASY.
HOW TO MAKE SOMEONE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
1) Click this link.
2) Type in the name of your LOVAH. Or LOVAHS.
3) Write the most amazing 150 character love note ever composed by a human. (Including that hack Shakespeare!)
4) If you include your LOVAH's email address, we'll let him/her/it/they know that they're getting a valentine—which will get the person's genital juices flowing waaaay in advance.
5) Include your email for non-evil verification purposes only.
6) Hit SUBMIT! (And then sit back and watch your LOVAH "submit" to your every sexual desire. Okay, that might not happen. But then again... IT MIGHT.)
REMEMBER! Deadline is February 4th, and we can only accept the first 1500 valentines. SO GET CRACKIN' CASANOVA!
(Can't think of anything romantical to write? Here, let LL Cool J get you into the appropriate romantic head space.)