Okay, who watched Portlandia on Friday night? If you answered "yes," then I have a second question for you: WAS THAT LIKE THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN OR WHAT?? (Okay, maybe not the worst... Holocaust root canals are worse. But it was still really, really, really, REALLY bad. More after the jump.)

So this is how I think things went down during the Portlandia pre-production meetings: Carrie is super annoyed with Portland bullshit (which can be very annoying at times, true) and convinces her pal Fred Armisen (who should know better!) to be in a sketch comedy show about it. They come up with some funny ideas, and secure a six episode stretch with IFC. So after one and a half episodes, all their good ideas have been used up, which means they still have to fill four and a half episodes. Fred takes the reins and, forgoing any further satire about Portland, crams the episodes with SUPER annoying SNL-style characters, where the main joke is to choose one sentence and repeat it until somebody laughs. This was the case in episode three, and to my knowledge, not a single person in the universe laughed.

The main gag in episode three involved Fred and Carrie hiring singer Aimee Mann to be their housekeeper, so they could annoy her while she did her work. Fred and Carrie also played an annoying dumpster diving couple (see video above) who made an annoying dumpster dinner that annoyed their friends. When Fred and Carrie dressed up like annoying punks and showed up at the food carts, I was like, "YES!! A food cart sketch! Necessary!"—however, the entire sketch ended up revolving around the two repeating the phrase, "You have to get out of there." Really? Not a single joke about waffles??

Worse still, there was the return of Alison's most hated characters, where Fred and Carrie switch genders, add vocoders, and mime a lot of disinterested sex—but wait! This time the twosome developed their characters into what resembled actual human beings with actual feelings. Okay, I'm joking—once again they were ANNOYING.

Okay, I'm going to stop ranting, because you get the idea: This show has already denigrated into "Comedy of the Annoying" territory, has little to nothing to do with the city of Portland (or anywhere else for that matter) and watching it is now OFFICIALLY a painful experience. Am I going to continue? YES. There's always the off-chance I'll see a sketch where they misuse a talented friend of mine. But guys! THIS SHOW IS BAD, BAD, BAD.


P.S. Now I'm thinking I was being overly generous when I wrote this.