Demonstrating the clear power of sustained, nonviolent protest, sources are reporting that Hosni Mubarak has decided to step down. But will his vice president—something of a foe of immediate democracy himself—actually be any better? And what role is Egypt's military playing in the transition? Furthermore, do we know yet whether the United States will emerge from this looking okay? Or like an asshole?

Somebody else stepped down yesterday! A married Republican congressman from New York who got busted by Gawker for sending shirtless (and flexing!) mirror photos of himself to a woman he was creepily wooing on Craigslist.

Senator Gabrielle Giffords? Arizona Republican Jon Kyl won't run for re-election next year, and the Democratic congresswoman, recovering from being shot in the head, made Fox News' list of possible contenders.

Ever dream about an orgy starring all your favorite conservatives? Here's a window into that fantasy. The rightiest of the righty 2012 Obama challengers are making big speeches today at the Conservative Political Action Conference.

A road map for WikiLeaks' comeuppance: The Man got His own team of data hacks to devise a plan for taking down Julian Assange's humble operation. Among the goals: Pressuring, er, "disrupting," Salon's Glenn Greenwald, a vocal backer of WikiLeaks; sowing discontent among various factions in the WikiLeaks community; and also directly attacking the site's infrastructure.

In way less nefarious news, Metro released the final group of contenders for the seat last held by Robert Liberty. Joining big names like Bob Shiprack and Bob Stacey? Former Governor Barbara Roberts.

Holy fuck, this headline rules! "Trial begins in case of Oregon man who lost part of his arm in fight with gold miner."

In a twist, a white powder that isn't meth dust or dandruff piles up across parts of the Southeast. We call it snow.

This is the same part of the country where a couple of arch-rednecks want a license plate honoring a Ku Klux Klan grandee. Comment from the NAACP: "Seriously?"

And, with that, "dinner is served, bitches!"