Last night I went to the wrap party/press screening of Stripperland, a homegrown horror-comedy film that I couldn't ignore. It features Daniel Baldwin (of not-being-Alec fame) and Lloyd Kaufman, the creative force behind Troma. It also features a bunch of strippers. I like zombies! I like boobs! I like Baldwins! I figured that this movie could be all kinds of bad but it surely wouldn't be boring.

WROOONGG! Man, I haven't watched a Troma film since high school. I forgot that the main thing they are is boring. I stuck around long enough to see Daniel Baldwin's cameo then peaced the eff out. I have a life to live.

About that cameo... Here's what the Stripperland official website says about Baldwin's role:

Baldwin makes his rap career debut in Stripperland, as Double D WFC (White Fuckin’ Chocolate). He’s managed to stay alive in Stripperland by laying down phat beats the strippers just have to dance to!

Yes, it is just as awful as that sounds and a little bit amazing. Daniel Baldwin lays down some sort of mush-mouthed nonsense to a bunch of poppin' lockin' zombie strippers for basically no reason. The main characters just find him in the desert doing that. He's a famous rapper or something. Then they leave him there and Daniel Baldwin says, "Hasta la Winnebago, bitches" and that's that. If you're keeping track, Stripperland is one of three movies featuring DB this year (the others are a Japanese film called Oba: The Last Samurai and Christmas with a Capital C) and Vampires is still the best film he's ever done.

Now, about the rest of the film: it blows. The film's director, Sean Skelding, asked the audience to spread the word about Stripperland even if we hated it cuz There's No Such Thing as Bad Press but I really have nothing to say about it. If you have access to either Zombieland (which Stripperland pays homage to by stealing both jokes and premise wholesale) or live strippers then you have no need for this movie. I'm glad we have local filmmakers with the drive and know-how to make local pictures and I'm glad one of those filmmakers made a movie about zombie strippers but... yeah. I'm also glad Troma released a film about a killer condom but I ain't watchin' it. Keep Portland weird and stuff. Hasta la Winnebago, bitches!