This just came in:

To the Lucky SOB that shares my name-

A woman wrote you a valentine in the last issue of the Mercury and it sounded a lot like a message that would have been written by a woman I have been interested in for quite some time. She did not write the message and was not interested. So I would urge you to please make the most of a wonderful Valentine's Day gesture. Best of luck to you, though it would appear that you are pretty well stocked on that.


Unlucky SOB


More mostly successful Valentine's Day messages can be found here.