BIEBER FEVER—If you're inexplicably ashamed of your love for Justin Bieber, then tonight is the perfect opportunity to sneak out of the house (avoiding the judgmental glare of your friends) and catch the JB biopic Never Say Never. Behind the scenes concert footage! Adorable home movies! Squealing teens! All in eye-popping 3D. WSH
Various theaters, See Film Times

TECHNO WEDNESDAY—Holocene busts out a new edition of Nightclubbing with Austra, Onuinu, and Linger & Quiet. Get ready for some psychedelic basement house music that will keep you thrumming. SY
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $5

(Look, I don't know. Maybe some of you WILL read this post and think, "Oh, heck yes! Tonight's the perfect night to see that movie Steve liked so much! I am not at all tired of hearing about that talented young whippersnapper!")