Your favorite search engine since Lycos—that would be Google—is pulling out all the stops for the rollout of their new Hotpot service. Their totally not hyperbolic "Best Ever" concert series will take over land, sea, and uh, roller rink, for three very unique concert experiences.

#1: Go roller skating with the Thermals and Lifesavas on Monday, February 28 at Oaks Amusement Park Roller Rink. Skates are limited, but all in attendance will get a romantic, hand-holding lap around the track with your choice of Thermal. The skate DJ will then playing "Send Me An Angel" and when you kiss your special Thermal, your braces will get stuck together. All-ages, doors at 6:30pm, show at 7pm.

#2: Conquer the seas with Red Fang and the Builders and the Butchers on Thursday, March 3 aboard the Portland Spirit. Remember, it's not illegal if it happens in international waters (the Willamette River totally counts). Anything goes. And I mean anything. All-ages, board at Tom McCall Waterfront Park at 7pm, boat sails at 7:30pm.
#3: Baptize yourself with the Dandy Warhols, Typhoon, and Y La Bamba at University Chapel on Thursday, March 10. This makes perfect sense because Courtney Taylor-Taylor is only person with a bigger ego than God himself. Bonus, communion wafers are low-carb. All-ages, doors at 6pm, show at 7pm.

Also, each show will have a copies of the Best Ever Mixtape—a digital compilation of local artists packaged in a customized Scout Book—available as well. All of these events are free and open to the public, but you'll need a wristband, which you can find at Compound Gallery, The Fix at Someday Lounge, Ace Hotel, Fresh Pot Mississippi, and the Hawthorne Burgerville location. For more details, follow Hotpot PDX on Twitter or visit their blog.

End Hits: We'll only use Hotpot when it helps us locate pot.