TODAY ON... THE BIEBER BEAT!
From the Bieber Beat Twitter Station!
Yeah so it's true… I got a little haircut… I like it… and we are giving all the hair cut to CHARITY to auction. Details coming soon!
1) I thought the point was to look LESS like a lesbian. Once again, I have apparently missed the point.
2) He should donate his fallen locks to one of those cancer kids charities—or to Wm. Steven Humphrey's "Hide the Forehead Foundation."
MORE NEWS FROM.... THE BIEBER BEAT! And a letter from a reader who actually LIKES these posts... after the jump.
THE BIEBER BEAT CONTINUES!!
BIEBER FLASH!! A new "Director Fan Cut" of das Beeb's Never Say Never in 3-Buttfucking-D will be screening for one week only starting this coming Friday, that will include a whopping 40 minutes of new, unseen footage! In two weeks, expect yet another version to hit theaters entitled, "Hastily Scrawled Fan Art by Emotionally Raw 13-Year-Olds… in 2-D!"
BIEBER FLASH!! Justin Bieber will now be immortalized until the end of time (or until there's a big fire... whatever comes first) by three wax figures at Madame Tussauds wax museums in London, New York and Amsterdam coming this March! Pedophilic sculpters rejoice!
BIEBER FLASH!! According to our Bieber GPS Accura-Radar System, Justin Bieber is currently eating a Radicchio Salad at Cecconi's on Melrose Avenue. Bon apetit!
And finally, let's go to the BIEBER BEAT MAILBAG featuring AN ACTUAL NICE LETTER from a Bieber Beat fan. Beebfanatic Joel writes:
Dear Mr. Steven Humphrey (is that the proper way to address someone with three names?),
I'm a regular reader of the Mercury blog and I'm entertained on a regular basis by your Justin Bieber posts. The combination of your sharp wit and, let's face it, an awful lot of entertaining subject matter make me laugh often, so much so that my poor girlfriend has been subjected to my less-talented retelling of them too many times to count. But for Valentine's day this year she got her revenge.
As a romantic present, she gave me Bieber's album "My World 2.0".
I am a 28-year-old guy.
I just thought I'd share the attached picture, and thank you for the continuing laughs.
Thanks for the NICE (for once) note, Joel! As for the rest of you... suck it.
THIS HAS BEEN... THE BIEBER BEAT!